The first post in this series I just made up is, sadly enough, based on a true story that happened just a few minutes ago, while I was in the sauna at UCC Mardyke Arena.
I had just gone in when I noticed how a girl in front of me started cursing in disgust at what she had just witnessed. For those of you who have read the title of the post you may have figured it out already.
Yes. She saw a penis…
I looked outside the sauna through the small window and due to the position I was seating on I could only see a young lad running away from the picture and covering himself with a grey towel (no penis watching for me I’m afraid).
Some of you may thing this is an amusing thing to happen in a gym, but it is actually not. And here comes the explanation to the title of this post:
Unseeing your penis is something that girl in the sauna will NOT be able to do. That is a simple fact.
She did not have to see your penis in a unisex sauna, in which rules such as “You should wear clothes to cover intimate parts such as your penis” apply.
Allow me to address the penis owner from now on with the hope that he gets to read this at some point.
Contrary to what you may believe, young lad, your penis is not the most ‘in demand’ thing to watch in Cork. Actually, and to your surprise, showing your private parts in a public space such as a unisex sauna does not magically increase your manhood levels. I’ll tell you more: by the expression in the girl’s face and the comments she made, I can assure you that she was not impressed.
While you probably laughed with your friends back in the changing room and thought how lucky that girl was by having seen the magnificent work of nature that your penis is, the girl’s thoughts on the subject were very different.
The fact that you just got away with doing something like that and found it amusing only fuels the sense of frustration the girl’s expression showed in the few minutes I remained in the sauna.
Unlike you, she would never risk making such a mistake in such a public place as that sauna, simply because she knows her body would automatically be targeted and objectified in sexual terms by other users of the sauna (particularly by lads like you).
Your natural reaction, which was just running away without any attempt at apologising, is a reminder of how differently society treats male and female bodies.
I just wish I had gone out of the sauna and reported you –as I initially suggested to the girl– but it is too late for that now.
I doubt this post will ever reach you, but if it does, be a real man and write a letter of apology to be left at the mardyke for her.
PS: Do UCC’s community a favor and buy yourself a pair of speedos, please.